The Secure Attachment Path

How Attachment Styles Impact Your Intimate Relationships

Gain clarity on how to feel secure in your intimate relationship, even if it feels insecure now.

Enroll Now! 

Have you been in a romantic relationship that leaves you feeling unheard, as though your efforts to improve the relationship are invisible, and like your significant other doesn’t seem to care?

Relationships struggle, not because of a lack of trying, but because partners are using attachment strategies that influence partners to feel more attacked, inadequate, and abandoned. Sadly, the more our intimate relationship struggles, the more we feel:

  • That we are not worth fighting for in our partner's eyes
  • Lonely in attempting to improve the relationship
  • Isolated and misunderstood
  • Angry that we are not cared for in the way we need


The problem is that partners can’t see the attachment strategies that hinder them from feeling the love and care that can bond them. Hint: It’s often there, we are just not seeing it and that’s the problem.

Secure vs. Insecure Relationships

How a Secure Relationship Feels:

When we gain insight into our attachment strategies, we can embark on an alternate route that guides us toward a sense of...

  • A Life Raft: In moments where you're submerged in distress, calling out fervently, your partner recognizes your need and rushes to your aid. You feel heard and safe.
  • More Sun: Sure, you have stormy days together, but you and your partner are affectionate, understanding, and can even laugh during conflict. This is because your relationship feels the warmth of love and care on a continual basis.
  • Warm Bath: Your intimate and erotic relationship is relaxing, close, and safe. Making it easy to explore each other and new ways of being together.
  • A Safe Haven: When life gets difficult, you can turn to your partner. And when you do, you feel seen, known, and important to them.
  • A Flashlight in the Dark: You can feel your partner's interest and engagement in your goals. Deep down, you know your dreams matter to them.

How an Insecure Relationship Feels:

When we are hindered by attachment strategies, our relationships feel like...

  • You're drowning: You're screaming at your partner to throw the life preserver, but instead of hearing how much you need them, they hear criticism and pull away. This leaves you floundering.
  • Hail Storm: Your partner is critical of the things you do. It feels like each thing they say is a golf ball sized hail that hits your heart. It hurts, but the more you try to tell them it hurts, the more hail hits you.
  • Hypothermia: Your intimate and erotic connection is ice cold or completely frozen (non-existent). You really need the warmth of your partner's connection, but somehow what you say has them pull away even more and the cold spreads to more parts of your body.
  • No Shelter in the Storm: You've got work stress, health issues, or other life stressors. You feel your partner doesn't care about these problems, or even about you. You feel emotionally abandoned and unprotected.
  • Tornado: You're trying to make changes in your life or accomplish big dreams, but instead of supporting your dreams, you feel they are blown away when you talk about your aspirations with your partner.

Research shows that understanding our attachment strategies in adulthood can help us implement secure attachment strategies that get our needs met and cultivate a more secure romantic relationship.

Disclaimer: The Secure Attachment Path is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to replace therapy, to diagnose, or to treat relational concerns and/or mental illness.

Does this sound familiar?

Every week for the past 8 years, Kim and Kyle have been writing, presenting, and providing therapy to help romantic partners build a bridge over the chasm of miscommunication and insecurity to each other. 


Here are some of the common problems we have noticed when it comes to relationships that leave us feeling inadequate, unlovable, and that it’s better to leave.

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“I often feel my partner just doesn't get me”

It’s not uncommon for partners to feel they are missing each other when they try to communicate. It is almost like they are speaking different languages that leaves them both feeling unheard, unseen, and frustrated. In this course, we will help you and your partner begin to speak the same language. We will lay the stepping stones to help you understand what your partner might be saying, as well as how to verbalize what you are needing.

“Give us some tools so we can feel closer”


When partners come into our offices and ask for tools, they are looking for solutions because they desperately need change. Knowing a clear path and having tools on how to build a solid relationship gives us all a sense of security, hope, and confidence. In this course, you will be given some practical tools that you can immediately utilize to help build deep connections within your relationships.

“Am I doomed to be in an unhealthy relationship because of my upbringing”

Quick answer: NO! 

Understanding how our childhood attachment affects our adult attachment is pivotal. When we understand how we were raised, we can then choose to embrace behaviors we have learned or we can choose to do things differently. The good news is: adult attachments can be secure, healthy, and fulfilling, EVEN if our childhood attachments were not.

The Attachment course is filled with evidence-based strategies to support you in: 

  • Understanding your partner and yourself - Why do we do the things we do?
  • Utilizing tools to build secure, fulfilling relationships
  • Fostering deep, secure connections within your relationships


The Attachment course covers research proven principles to support you in seeing what blocks your relationships from feeling sturdy and stable. 

Our course is designed to guide you through the intricacies of attachment styles and their impact on relationships. By enrolling in The Secure Attachment Path, you will learn how to:

  • Explore your own attachment style and how it influences your relationship dynamics. Uncover patterns and triggers that hinder intimacy and connection.
  • Begin to identify your longing for your intimate relationships
  • How the four main attachment styles (secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized) interact with each other. Understand the underlying fears, needs, and behaviors associated with each style.
  • Develop empathy and compassion for your partner's attachment style. Learn to recognize and validate their emotional needs, fostering a sense of safety and security in the relationship. And the space for you to be understood and feel secure. 
  • Acquire practical tools and techniques to navigate challenges associated with different attachment styles. Learn how to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and foster intimacy and trust.
  • Begin to make different decisions that cultivate a secure attachment style within yourself and in your partnership. Foster a strong foundation of trust, emotional availability, and intimacy.

Example Curriculum

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Sign Up Here

$197 for the Secure Attachment Path: How Attachment Styles Impact Your Intimate Relationship(s)

Lifetime access to the The Secure Attachment Path: How Attachment Styles Impact Your Intimate Relationship(s)

Who is this course for?

  • For partners who want to feel closer and want to understand themselves, and their partners, better
  • For those who want to understand their attachment style and how it shows up in their relationships
  • For those who are looking for tools to create a secure connection with their partner
  • For all humans in, or who want to be in, a romantic relationship, regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, or sexuality

Who is this course NOT for?

  • Those experiencing violence or abuse in their relationship (verbal, sexual, emotional, etc)
  •  Those engaged in active affairs
  •  Those engaged in active addictions

*These require specialized and professional support

Your Purchase Includes

  • Full access to the “How Attachment Styles Impact Your Intimate Relationship(s)” course. You will also get a full video recording via Teachable. 
  • Full audio recording of the entire course. Included in the price of your ticket is a full audio recording of the course (.mp3 file). You will be able to download the entire event and take it with you anywhere you please.
  • The Attachment Workbook: A workbook designed to go along with the course to support you in your journey to healthier and more secure relationship(s).

Disclaimer: The Secure Attachment Path is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to replace therapy, to diagnose, or to treat relational concerns and/or mental illness.a

The Attachment Nerds


Kimberly Castelo

People who know me often say that I see everything from an attachment perspective. They are right! I truly believe all of us long to be seen, heard, and understood. We need a safe place to just be human, to be not perfect, to be celebrated and to be lovingly challenged. Science has shown that having a secure relationship is a health benefit - it lowers pain, lowers heart rate, lowers blood pressure, increases joy. This is why my heart aims to help people thrive in their relationships - it aids to overall health and satisfaction! 


A little about me: I am a white, neurodiverse cisgender female who lives with an autoimmune disorder. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Supervisor, Certified Sex Therapist and Supervisor and a Certified Emotionally Focused Therapist and Supervisor.

Kimberly Castelo, Female, Sher/Hers, Marriage Therapist, Family Therapist, Marriage Therapist in Seattle, Family Therapist in Seattle, Sex Therapist, Sex Therapist in Seattle, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist in Seattle, Washington State Supervisor, Public Speaker
Kyle Benson, Male, He/him, Couples therapist in Seattle, Sex therapist in Seattle, Couples therapist in Tampa, Sex therapist in Tampa

Kyle Benson

I've spent the last eight years immersed in the study of what makes relationships secure and emotionally connected — interviewing researchers, consulting experts in this field, and pursuing research, all in order to develop practical and effective tools to help partners build better relationships. I care about this work because I know what it’s like to feel insecure and have relationships that feel unstable. In my work, I have written over 200 articles and have spoken in over 100 online events. Over 400,000 people read my articles every year and my work has been featured in US News, Business Insider, The Gottman Institute, and more. Over 35,000 people subscribe to my newsletter.


A little bit about me: I am a white, cisgender male who lives with an autoimmune disease. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and manage research studies at The Gottman Institute.


Don't let attachment styles hold you back from experiencing the fulfilling and connected relationship you deserve.

Join us on The Secure Attachment Path and embark on a transformative journey towards more connection, passion, and playfulness in your relationship.


The Secure Attachment Path is for educational purposes only. 

It is not intended to replace therapy, diagnose, or treat relational concerns and / or mental illness.  

30 Day Money Back Guarantee

The Secure Attachment Path course integrates the research on the effectiveness of how to change relationships with approaches that we have personally used with romantic partners we see in our practice. We’ve witnessed time and again romantic partners who began their work with us feeling disconnected, lonely, and hopeless, turn their relationship around! They did so by utilizing the insight and tools we address in the Secure Attachment Path course. If, for any reason, the Secure Attachment Path doesn’t work for you, please let us know. We’ll gladly offer you a full refund within 30 days of your purchase.

FAQ's

  • How long is the course? The course consists of approximately 4 hours of video content, which is divided into 17 sections, each focusing on specific aspects of attachment theory and styles.
  • How many pages are in the workbook? The workbook contains 28 pages. Furthermore, within each section of the course, we provide dedicated portions of the workbook for you to explore the specific aspects of attachment styles discussed in that section of the course.
  • How long will I have access to the course? You will have indefinite access to the course. Once you enroll, you can revisit the materials and resources at your own pace, ensuring that you have all the time you need to learn and benefit from the content.
  • Do I have to sit down and watch this, or is it something I can listen to while I am cooking, etc.? Our program is designed to be versatile and cater to your preferences. You can both watch and listen to the content. This means you can actively watch the videos or simply listen to them while engaging in other activities, like cooking, making it a flexible and convenient learning experience.
  • Is this course suitable for me if I'm just entering into a relationship or if I'm single? Absolutely! This course is valuable for individuals at various relationship stages. Whether you are starting a new relationship or currently single, the course offers insights that can help you understand attachment theory and styles. By reflecting on your past experiences and your future aspirations for relationships, this course can be a beneficial option for personal growth and self-awareness.
  • Is there a specific schedule for completing the course, or can I learn at my own pace? You have the flexibility to learn at your own pace. There are no set schedules, allowing you to study and revisit the materials at a time that suits you best.
  • Do I need any prior knowledge of attachment theory to take this course? No prior knowledge is required. This course is designed to cater to learners with various levels of familiarity with attachment theory, making it accessible to both beginners and those with prior knowledge.