A Marriage That Lasts

By Kimberly Castelo

Let’s just be honest; marriage can be hard.  It can be very rewarding, fulfilling, exciting, lovely AND it can be painful, lonely, and aggravating.

How do marriages last for 60 happy years?

The emphasis here is being happy for all those years because, as we know, people can be married for a long time, but not be happy.

There are some things everyone yearns for in a relationship. 

These include: 

  • Do I matter?
  • When I need you, are you there for me?

The need to have this security in a marital relationship is essential.  However, sometimes it is hard to show affection. Maybe at one point one tried to show affection, but the partner rejected or did not see the effort.

Truthfully, it can be hard to always be a place of safety for your partner, especially when one is tired or has a difference of opinion.

What is beautiful about relationship therapy is it helps reconnect partners in profound ways.  It helps partners learn to communicate and show that the other person matters.  It helps build ways to demonstrate safety and comfort in a relationship when life is hard.

Breaking the cycle of pain, distance, and arguments can be daunting. 

However, it is more than possible to bring life and love back into a marriage that has lost some of those elements.  It is possible to build on a strong marital foundation and make it even stronger and more fulfilling.

I truly believe investing in your relationship is one of the most rewarding and profitable things one can do! Take a moment to assess your relationship: Does it need help? Do you long for more closeness?

If so, take the time to invest in your relationship! 

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About Kimberly Castelo, LMFT-S, CST-S, CIIP

Kimberly (she/her) is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, Certified Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist, and a Certified Integrated Intimacy Professional. She has a private practice that focuses on sex therapy, attachment, social justice, and couples work. 

Kimberly is a Washington State Supervisor, an AAMFT Supervisor, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist Supervisor and an EFT Supervisor-in-training. Kimberly also provides sex supervision through the Modern Sex Therapy Institute where folxs train to be sexual educators and therapists. 

Kimberly is a national speaker, speaking on topics of faith, sexuality, grief, coping with Multiple Sclerosis, high tone pelvic floor, menopause and more! She is a gifted teacher and emphasizes the freedom that comes from education!

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